PLEASE BELIEVE ME (1950)

After an influential run of poetic/ atmospheric low-budget horror pics (CAT PEOPLE/’42 to BEDLAM/’46), producer Val Lewton never quite returned to form after ankling R.K.O. (Though his last, Hugo Fregonese’s APACHE DRUMS/51, is visually alive, an impressive, downbeat Western.) Not that he could have done much with this modest programmer, a 3 GUYS/1 GAL rom-com, pleasant enough, even cute, and not nearly as stupid as you expect. It stars Deborah Kerr, four years & four pics into her M-G-M contract, still unsure what to do with her. She was just too good at anything they tossed her way. (At least it’s not QUO VADIS?/’51!) Here, she's a penniless Brit who’s just inherited a Texas cattle ranch. Why she must be worth millions! Or so she imagines. So too, three handsome, eligible bachelors on the same ocean liner: wealthy Peter Lawford; suspicious lawyer Mark Stevens; con man Robert Walker; a trio of preening roosters against one choosy hen. In sketch-like scenes played in airless interiors & breezeless ship decks, Lewton seemingly gives in to the studio’s complete lack of atmosphere. Surely the budget could have stretched for a fan or two. And there’s no more style after we reach New York, though at least the romantic roundelay gets neatly worked out without much comic flop sweat. Director Norman Taurog hardly scintillates (for ocean liner romance it’s no LADY EVE; for a sharply defined male trio try TOM DICK AND HARRY, both 1941), but at least he doesn’t push.

SCREWY THOUGHT OF THE DAY: A pool-side moment on board has a neat example of changing tastes in body image. Watch Peter Lawford pop up from the water and give a body-builder pose. Frankly, he looks great, lean, toned & manly. But he’s greeted with derisive laughs, too skinny to pull it off. Today, he’d be trending on the internet and Kerr shamed for not being a Size 2.

DOUBLE-BILL: As mentioned above, everyone knows EVE, but give TOM DICK AND HARRY a look for peak Ginger Rogers.

CONTEST: One of the Unwritten Rules of Billing Etiquette is broken on this film. Hint: it involves the ending. Name the broken rule (Bonus Bragging Rights if you know the reason behind it) to win a MAKQUIBS DVD Write-Up of your choosing.