THE DOG STARS (2026)

Now in his mid-80s, Ridley Scott is on a tear losing staggering amounts of other people’s money with every new project.  And eight more already announced.  The idea is when the Grim Reaper comes a’knockin’, Scott can say: ‘Sorry Grim, I’m already booked.’*  Exclude a pre-sold property like GLADIATOR II (disappointing in plenty of other ways   https://maksquibs.blogspot.com/2025/01/gladiator-ii-2024.html) and he’s had nothing but poorly received flops for a decade.  Now we get something no one asked for: a romantic, action-packed, near future dystopian fable.  Another major flop . . . and also the best film he’s made in years.  Even in handling the storyline; Scott’s Achilles heel.  Based on Peter Heller’s straight-forward bestseller helps: A post viral plague, a sparsely populated Earth, landsman survivers, roaming/ultra-violent scavengers, a Fight to Live another day.  (Make that Live to Fight another day.)  Easy.  Tall, hunky mechanic & pilot Jacob Elordi (with dog) is teamed with grizzled vet Josh Brolin (morphing into Nick Nolte), the two stocked with a warehouse of ordinance.  But when Jasper the dog goes down, widower Elordi asks ‘Is That All There Is?’ and takes off to find . . . something.  Crash-landing on Guy Pearce's isolated ranch, he finds daughter Margaret Qualley and so much in common.  For one thing, these gentle souls have all lost their spouses!   Another attack and a flight on the now fixed plane brings them to Scorched Earth Utopia . . . but is it?  Some of this is just silly, but handsomely observed (Scott’s strength), with four underrated actors perfectly cast.  Perhaps if it didn’t end three times, or found a new puppy for Elordi, it might have broken the current Ridley commercial curse.  Still, worth hanging in for.

SCREWY THOUGHT OF THE DAY:  *Flashbacks to Elordi and his late wife include Jasper, the German Shepard, as a pup.  Only the pup’s fur is darker than the grown dog we’ve already met.  The opposite of what happens when that breed matures.  Scott’s reached the ‘Your Eminence’ stage where no one tells you when you’re making a mistake.  Including making a dystopian mediocrity when the genre is played out.

ATTENTION MUST BE PAID:  *An old George Burns joke based on his advance Las Vegas booking when he was approaching 100.