CRY MACHO (2021)

Place: Hollywood.  Event: Story pitch meeting.  Target: Vet male star, no longer box-office gold, pushing 60.  Your Opening Line: Well, I got this story about a 45 year old guy . . . Reaction: DING-DING-DING!  You’ve got his attention.  (This is a true story BTW.)  So, imagine what it’s like these days at Malpaso, Clint Eastwood’s company.  All the same, except that Opening Line: Well, Clint, I got this story about a 75 year old guy.*  Hey!, how many 91 year olds still star & direct movies?  (He writes & produces, too, but usually without taking any credit.)  His latest, not much seen, not much liked, is one of those Clint Eastwood pics for people who generally don’t like Clint Eastwood pics.  A significant subset in his output going back at least to BRONCO BILLY/’80.  And if this one came and went without making a mark, it’s largely a case of false expectations.  Not at all the film you expect from the set up: Clint heads below the border to bring back the resentful teen son of the man who only recently fired him.  And while there’s a bit of action involved in prying the boy away from his vengeful Mexican mom & her sexed-up acolytes, with a few highway adventures along the way, it’s more 1980 religious parable than actioner hiding under Clint’s new sheep’s skin coat.  Debuting Eduardo Minett plays the rather unlikable, off-putting kid, easy to find, hard to convince.  And if the journey back North doesn’t take 40 years, it is unexpectedly extended; sees them taking shelter in a chapel; waking to manna for breakfast (dropped off by an attractive widow lady rather than dropped from the sky); sees a new generation cross the border while the elder steps back; even has a protecting angel in the form of a fiery red fighting cock.  Laid back, often quite funny (once you adjust to the rocking chair pace), Homeric rather than Mosaic, it's more amuse-bouche than Eastwood entrée.  Sometimes that first little bite is the most delightful part of a meal.

DOUBLE-BILL:  As mentioned, BRONCO BILLY.  Write a COMMENT (see below) and let us know how it’s holding up after all these years.

ATTENTION MUST BE PAID:  *Best known for THE RAINMAKER/’56 (which is a lot like THE MUSIC MAN and was itself musicalized to good effect as 110 IN THE SHADE), author N. Richard Nash died in 2000 after decades trying to make a film from his novel.  (As our poster notes, they must have been waiting for Clint to get old enough.)