MORBIUS (2022)

Though it wound up earning out, MARVEL fanboys & girls, hardly the most particular patrons at the multiplex, largely dissed this realization of yet another dark anti-hero comic-book figure.  (Loud dissing was saved for MADAME WEB/’24, next up from this writing team.)  For non-MARVELites, the good news is that it’s a full half hour shorter than recent adaptations; the bad news is . . . everything else.  (‘Jinx’ news is that Michael Keaton chooses unwisely again, appearing right at the end to plug a never-gonna-happen sequel.)  And MORBIUS?  Take away the ‘MACBETH CGI’ (definition: CGI ‘full of sound and fury, signifying nothing’) and you’ve got a pic that looks like a pricey CSI 2-parter (all that chilly blue lighting) and wants to be THE FLY/’86.  Trying much too hard to be serious, Jared Leto is his own patient, impressively gaunt as he wastes away from some unfathomable blood disease before curing himself with a shot of some unfathomable elixir and becoming impressively buff!  Alas, major side-effects kick in; he becomes a violent, ultra-powerful, blood-sucking humanoid vampire bat.  Worse, fellow blood-deficient bro Matt Smith also wants the cure; bad enough to kill.  Though not actual brothers, these two play out a ‘Father always liked you best’ routine against mentor Jared Harris, the one interesting idea in here.  (Also, two Jareds star in one pic!  A first!)  Alas, the script & director Daniel Espinosa leave this underdeveloped to pursue unreadable action sequences often obscured by a vortex of bats.

ATTENTION MUST BE PAID:  Best moment comes early on when a character mispronounces Nobel Prize as Noble Prize.  Neither of which went to MORBIUS, instead earning three nominations and two wins (for Leto and a missing-in-action Adriaq Arjona) at The Razzies.