ANYTHING GOES (1956)

What did Hollywood have against Cole Porter B’way musicals?* They bought ‘em, then removed the tunes before filming. FIFTY MILLION FRENCHMAN (no songs left), THE GAY DIVORCEE (kept one); his throwaway entertainments of the ‘30s & ‘40 (big hits for Ethel Merman, Jimmy Durante, Danny Kaye, Mary Martin, Bert Lahr), trashed in spite of decent star turns from Ann Southern, Bob Hope, Lucille Ball, Betty Hutton. His great ‘integrated book’ shows of the ‘50s, KISS ME KATE and CAN-CAN? Bowdlerized duds even if you only know the shows from the Original Cast Album. Then there’s ANYTHING GOES, the earliest B’way musical comedy (other than SHOW BOAT) strong enough to be regularly revived. Buried by Paramount in ‘36 (with Bing Crosby & Merman), at least they kept the general plotline and four songs. Now they return to finish it off; along with Crosby’s Paramount contract, Donald O’Connor musicals, debuting director Robert Lewis and Zizi Jeanmarie’s Hollywood career. What the hell happened? Two years back, a proffered third Crosby/Astaire vehicle, WHITE CHRISTMAS, became the year’s top-grosser. Not with Astaire, he opted out; not with O’Connor, he took sick, but with Danny Kaye stepping in to save the day. (And make a shitload of cash with an unheard of gross participation contract.) Why not try again, now with the far less expensive O’Connor in the same spot on a similar role & story: two pals/two gals; a professional mix-up for Jeanmarie & Mitzi Gaynor, a big final number as a quartet. With five Porter songs intact from the show (and an extra Porter from another show), along with three new ones by Jimmy Van Heusen & Sammy Cahn. How could it miss? It missed, the dodo bird of musicals.

ATTENTION MUST BE PAID: *Cole Porter’s SILK STOCKINGS/’57 the exception that proves the rule, thanks to Arthur Freed; Rouben Mamoulian; Fred Astaire; Cyd Charisse; and the best musical charts ever put up for one of these things.  On the other hand, two dud bio-pics: NIGHT AND DAY/46; DE-LOVELY/’04.

WATCH THIS, NOT THAT: Crosby & Gaynor redeemed themselves in their next Cole Porter offerings, original musicals over at M-G-M. Crosby with HIGH SOCIETY/’56, a just good enough remake-with-songs of THE PHILADELPHIA STORY; and Mitzi Gaynor, usually too cute for words, locating a bit of Cole Porter sophistication under George Cukor's direction for LES GIRLS/’57.  A happy surprise with Gene Kelly, Taina Elg and a divinely louche Kay Kendall.

SCREWY THOUGHT OF THE DAY: Crosby tries for loose, comes up lazy. Perhaps missing the star wattage of a Hope, an Astaire, Kaye or Sinatra pushing back to keep him engaged/in line. O’Connor, in peak form at 31 is the best thing in here, but not in the same star league.