And you thinking Russia not know how to make CGI-loaded Bolshoi Blockbuster? (Bolshoi Icebuster!) Phooey! We show. Big ship taking on frozen Arctic Sea as well as frozen expeditionary science unit with dog. But with ship Captain Pyotr Fyodorov, handsome, strong, stubble beard, 70 men safe on board. (Two time winner of Russian Hero of the Year acting award! Real thing. Look up!) But stopping boat when science man & dog go overboard in frigid waters bolshoi mistake. Save doggie; lose man. Puts rescue attempt ahead of mission. Soon helicopter comes. Replace fine Captain with no nonsense Captain. Less handsome; no caring. Crusty exterior hiding crusty interior. Smashes sailor’s guitar to bits if deck not swabbed with anti-freeze. Relieved Captain & new Captain like Burt Lancaster & Clark Gable in RUN SILENT, RUN DEEP/’58; Liam Neeson & Harrison Ford in K-19: THE WIDOWMAKER/’02. Dozens others to choose from. Yet, mean Captain wife back home having baby #1 at home. Maybe he's not so bad. But now, ship stuck in ice, with huge iceberg following. Yikes! Cracks below deck no one in Moscow takes responsibility for. Now storage flooded, nothing to eat but cabbage soup. (Inside info: is same cabbage soup as before flood. Ironic, da?) Almost forget; for film, no expense spared, English dub made by same team who did WHAT’S UP, TIGER LILY?/’66 for Woody Allen. And since date of events is 1985, everyone calls everyone ‘dude.’ Plus takeaway motto: Shit Floats.
ATTENTION MUST BE PAID: Look for some great sunshiny weather as a water truck spews out heavy rain showers on a Moscow sidewalk. While on the English dub track, a clueless actor pronounces LeninGRAD as LeninGARD. Even under perestroika , you could get shot for that.
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