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Tuesday, October 13, 2026

COLD STORAGE (2026)

Good gross-out fun (Evil Fungus from Outer Space division), but only if you’re willing to work with it.  The ‘tell’ in producer/scripter David Koepp’s method of madness, hiding in plain sight, is substandard F/X (practical & CGI), purposefully a few steps behind state-of-the-art.  Sure, the film’s modest ten mill. budget brings limits to director Johnny Campbell’s options, but Koepp* is less interested in scaring the shit out of you than spoofing the snot out of your nose.  (Ewww!  Yuck!)  It doesn’t all work; Campbell not up to the subterfuge.  But if you accept the concept of a 1950s Alien Cautionary (long buried Killer Fungus from Space threatens to melt in its unstable deep-freeze storage unit and infect all mankind) revived in a modern time frame, the film offers a classy cast eager to run with the ball.  Liam Neeson as a Cassandra of a scientist (getting those laughs he missed in THE NAKED GUN); Leslie Manville as his once-and-future ‘Girl Friday,’ and Vanessa Redgrave, having fun for a change as a suicidal secret weapon.  Plus young, minimum-wage storage warehouse guards over their head in alien gore (Joe Keery by way of STRANGER THINGS; Sosie Bacon by way of Kevin’s loins); and a surprise winner in Georgina Campbell, nailing the impossible role of ’straight man’ amongst the crazies.  Shut off the left side of your brain and bring in your more disrespectful teens for full enjoyment.  (Another Family Friendly label meant for tweens and up.)

SCREWY THOUGHT OF THE DAY:  *Koepp hasn’t had this much fun behind a keyboard since JURASSIC PARK/’97, which you’ll recall had more believable digital trickery thirty years back.  (Actually, not quite thirty as STORAGE sat on the shelf for three years before Samuel Goldwyn Films picked up Stateside distribution.  Not that anyone went to see it.)

DOUBLE-BILL:  William Cameron Menzies’ INVADERS FROM MARS/’53 the sort of period Sci-Fi Koepp must have had in mind.

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